Thoughts on Procrastination and Self-Development

Life isn't all about duties and other people's priorities

Photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash

From my diary:

Another day waking up later than I wanted to, and still having slept less than I needed. And being tired, with a fluctuous pain in the belly, I really want to just relax – perhaps in a hot bath, or even by going out for a walk. But I feel locked up in the trap of life, where there’s something big hanging over my heads, a task that I must do, and some problems I must work on solving.

While a moment of focus on some easier tasks, learning this or that, brings me a relief for a moment, it doesn’t fix any overall problems in the short term. But it does bring me a lot of value in the longer term. For instance, being able to speak French, and to tell people that I can, may gain me some extra points in different contexts, but mostly, it will simply help me feel that I am capable of moving forward into becoming someone better than I was before learning that.

Learning how to play the flute, or any other instrument, will make me confident and raise my social level, inherently, even if most of the people I know wouldn’t want to show any appreciation for the skill – but there are other people in the world, and some people will appreciate it. No matter the topic: knowing something well, or being good at something, will find its followers.

And I can write about it, perhaps make videos on YouTube where I play the flute and other instruments, and while this likely, as YouTube has developed, would bring me two likes and five followers, or something else small, it would give me a confidence boost bigger than most other things I could imagine. It would bring me several steps up a ladder of appreciation in the society, even if that’s only happening in my own head.

And that confidence is needed. The world thrives on it, and job application forms now even ask me to describe “fun facts” and “super powers” – so, I should better have something to tell when being asked such questions.

We have a society now where almost everybody is automatically ruled out in most situations. Public systems of any kind take a stance in not approving people for inclusion, and only if the arguments and evidence are strong enough, then people might be included in that schema, for now. Until they can be thrown out again. Businesses decide who they want as customers, and throw out those they don’t see fit. Social media sort people into an A-team and a B-team, and then all the “untouchables” who are allowed to watch, but who are not considered part of the game.

In such a society, it is important that I at least know by myself that I have some skills. Even if they are difficult to bring in play in social contexts. But for myself, it can help me feel that I am worth something. Not to speak about the actual joy it brings to learn new things, and to practice and become better. And, not the least, to actually exercise the new skill. I would really enjoy playing a piece on the flute, and to be able to apply dedication and passion to it, to make it a great performance, even if only I will hear it.

Now, is the meaning of life to always rush, always try to fulfill some artificial needs or wishes, often imposed by others?

Or is it to find a path that makes you thrive? Every day, if possible.

Stress and worries over problems that have been super-imposed on you will not make you happy, that’s for sure, but can you really allow yourself to spend time on things that are solely for your own sake, and not even leading to any immediate win, not to a new job or anything else that you could actually need right now?

To be quite frank, I find that society is off when it cannot see the immediate value of being content, resting in one-self, etc., by growing skills, knowledge, and all other kinds of understanding. Thinking about philosophy, imagining how the world might really function, and diving into those topics discovered along the way that seem interesting to learn more about – that should be appreciated by everybody.

But there is an overall puritan view on life as being something to dedicate to a purpose, no matter if you’ll have your soul with you in this.

Fact is, that if you are already happy for knowing and being able to do those things that fascinate you, you will be a much bigger asset for any company – also if none of that will be directly useful at work. Because it will make you feel good about yourself, and that is useful, in all contexts.

I also believe that learning things will lead to more respect for others who can do that. Playing that flute, for instance, isn’t as straight-forward as it might look to people who never tried. So, working on it, learning, practicing, and seeing for yourself how difficult this really is, may make you feel more humble and respectful toward those who can do it well.

Only when you have tried it yourself, you’ll be able to appreciate how much dedication, time, and enthusiasm it takes to become good. And even if you’ll possibly never become that good at playing the flute, it will develop you in other ways – your mentality, your social sense, and your respect for people in general.

To take it a bit further: learning and doing things that are not for business, not for bringing you an income, and perhaps not for displaying your skills to anyone else than yourself, will probably make you a better person altogether.

That really must be an element of that “meaning of life”.

And it’s easy to get there, if you just want to. A book about Esperanto, I have, claims that setting aside just 20-30 minutes a day, but every day, will bring you far, fast. That thought is not new, but it becomes more and more correct, the more you practice it. 30 minutes a day during a year will be almost 200 hours of studying, which is enough to bring you to a reasonable, or at least visible skill level with most things, and who says you should stop after one year? Several years of this, and you’ll master the topic.

But more important. Those 30 minutes will be your sacred time. That time where you grow.

And you can, of course, grow several times a day, doing different things. So, both the flute, French, and Esperanto can become part of your life, take part in making you a better person, and, in any case make you feel good about life during all of those half-hours, every single day for the rest of your long and now happy life.